


Look, Don't Touch

by Pikachunicorn



Category: New X-Men: Academy X, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Future Fic, I am far too addicted to writing Elixir as a med student, M/M, Sex Addiction, college students, flatmates, hypersexuality, post-Jean Grey School, satyriasis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3512849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikachunicorn/pseuds/Pikachunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh Foley knows everything there is to know about physical health, and so he should, being both an Omega Level healer and a medical student. But - unfortunately - he's not so great with psychological wellbeing. So, when he is diagnosed with severe satyriasis (sex addiction), he's not too great at working out a successful recovery method.</p><p>Julian Keller has been denying his feelings for his flatmate/off-again-on-again best friend for as long as he can remember, and now he likes to think he's gotten pretty damn good at it. But when said best friend is taking any opportunity to drag him to bed with him, Julian has to choose: finally get he's wanted for so long, or resist for the sake of Josh's recovery...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, firstly, THIS IS NOT FOR THE SAKE OF SMUT. I'm not gonna use a legit psychological issue as an excuse to write porn. There will be little-to-no smutty stuff in this. I wrote a Tumblr post that explains this here (http://shipping-the-mutants.tumblr.com/post/113014732814/why-im-worried-to-post-my-sex-addict).
> 
> Secondly, some context - this is written as if Josh returned to Jean Grey's around now in current continuity (LET'S ALL IGNORE THE LOGAN LEGACY LA LA LA LA). It's set a few years in the future, wherein Josh and Julian attend the same college (Josh studying Biology or Medicine or something, idk, and Julian studying Business). Basically, they got forced to rent a flat together by the JGS (funding reasons) and spent so much time together that they basically learned to care for each other like bros (even if they treat each other like crap).
> 
> And finally, reasons I chose to 'give' Josh this is:  
> \- I have a headcanon wherein he has a super deep obsession with bodies. People. Just living things. Because of his mutation. This is also my reasoning for why I've always seen him as bisexual.  
> \- Like alcoholism and drug addiction, guys with satyriasis use sex as an escape from the stresses and issues in their life. Sex is always the answer to their problems. And, boy, does Josh have a hell of a lot of problems.  
> \- I genuinely think getting disowned at the age of 15 probably fucked him up a lot.

"Josh..." Julian sighed, not looking up from the magazine that balanced precariously in his metallic hands (so much so that it had to have been supported by his telekinesis in some way).

"Yeah, sure." Josh whispered sweetly to the insanely hot and madly gorgeous blonde girl in his arms, kissing her once. "Laters, cutie."

He smirked as he watched her leave the apartment (and offer him a flirty wave as she did so). As soon as the door slammed shut, he dropped his facade. "Dammit, I thought she was _never_ gonna leave!"

" _Josh_." Julian repeated, glancing at his roommate over the top of the magazine.

"What?" Josh rolled his eyes in anticipation. It was the same damn lecture every time and he was done with it.

"You're supposed to be trying." Julian huffed, closing the magazine and dropping it into his lap. "This isn't something that'll disappear overnight."

"I _am_ trying!" Josh argued, sitting tiredly on the sofa beside Julian. "It was just one girl."

"And yesterday, it was another girl. And the day before that, another. And before that-"

" _Actually_!" Josh cut in to correct the telekinetic before Julian could finish. "Tuesday was a guy."

"Oh, I know." Julian retorted narrowing his eyes. "Because he managed to drunkenly find his way into my room at three am!"

"Listen, I'm sorry, but-

"No buts, Foley. This was supposed to end months ago!" Julian snarled, tossing his magazine at Josh's head. "You're not even attempting to get over this!"

"Yes, I am!" Josh drew back, insulted. "I haven't accessed the Internet for _three months_!"

"That's because you haven't needed to!" Julian argued, narrowing his eyes. "I can't remember the last time you _didn't_ bring someone home with you."

"If you have an issue with it, move out." Josh sighed, pushing a hand through his hair so that his fringe fell down over his face.

"I have no issues with you having relationships, Josh. What I have an issue with is your lack of interest in getting over your nymphomania." Julian answered calmly. "The doctor said-"

"I _am_ a doctor." Josh cut in.

"You're a _student_." Julian corrected, rolling his eyes. "You're not even close to qualifying."

"Well, neither are you! But you still act like you could hold the world's most prestigious companies on your shoulders!" Josh snapped in reply, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away with a huff.

"Business is different." Julian shrugged Josh's argument off quickly. "And we're not talking about my studies here. We're talking about you. And your... _Problem_."

"Having sex is _not_ a problem, Keller. Get over yourself." Josh moaned, dropping his head back against the sofa, rolling his eyes.

"No, sex is great." Julian agreed, because that really wasn't something he was even going to attempt to argue. "The problem is that you have a diagnosed mental issue and you're not trying to overcome it at all. You know the doctor won't start the therapy without the proof that you're willing to at least attempt to get better. Nymph-"

" _Satyriasis_. In guys, it's called satyriasis." Josh corrected, his tone harsh and clipped. "And the doctor is full of shit anyway. I'm not a sex addict."

"Sorry." Julian sighed, leaning his head on Josh's shoulder. They'd been living together for almost two years now, after deciding to attend the same college. It was strange, because - despite maintaining the petty friction they'd had for so long - they were also closer than brothers, at points. At least, Julian thought so. He really cared about Josh, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"Listen, 'Lixir." Julian began, his tone quiet and calm. It was even surprising to himself how compassionate he was being throughout Josh's attempted recovery. "I know you don't want to hear this, but this is a really serious problem. I've been reading up on it since your diagnosis and I-"

"Stop." Josh commanded quietly, standing from the couch suddenly. "I'm fine. Okay? I'll _check_..."

Closing his eyes, Josh used his mutation to scan his own body for irregularities.

"Nothing." He concluded, opening his eyes and placing his hands on his hips. "I'm fine. Totally. Satyriasis isn't... I'm not... I am seriously just a kid having fun. I'm not addicted to anything."

"You can't say that!" Julian almost laughed in disbelief at Josh's reaction. "You're not a doctor, and if you don't get this sorted, you never will be."

"It's not like they're gonna fail me because I sleep around!" Josh bit his lip to suppress a smirk at the concept.

"No. They're gonna fail you because your symptoms are leading to you missing class and falling behind in your studies." Julian replied bluntly, causing Josh's amusement to disperse. "I'm gonna be direct here. Your life right now is not what I expected. You _suck_. Seriously. All you do is sleep through the day and fuck all night, and it's annoying! But I get that it's not... That's just... It's a condition. It's not _you_. It's your addiction."

"I'm _not_ addicted!" Josh yelled before storming to his room and slamming the door.

"Oh yeah. Real mature, Foley!" Julian called, rushing over to Josh's locked door. He leant against the wood with a sigh. "If you don't grow the fuck up right now, I'm calling Cess and Laura."

"Fuck off, Keller!" Josh slammed on the door from the other side, causing Julian to startle. A short huff of laughter echoed out of Josh's room, alerting Julian to the fact Josh had sensed his mini heart attack.

"Great, I'm calling them." Julian snarled, taking out his phone and cursing silently to note it was out of battery. "Okay, so, I can't call _immediately_ , but-"

"You suck at this _'caring best friend'_ role, shithead." Josh cut in with a satisfied hint to his tone.

Sighing, Julian rolled his eyes, before a small smirk took his lips. Everything was a competition with him and Josh. _Always_. Even sensitive things like this. So, when he spotted Josh's cell on the coffee table, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to win.

"'Lixir, I'm borrowing your phone!" He announced smugly, his smirk growing.

"No!" Josh slammed on the door again. "No, Julian! I swear, if you-"

"If there's a star after Laura's name, I with tear your limbs apart!" Julian warned. Josh had an irritating habit of adding an asterisk to the end of the contact name of anyone he thought he could call for sex.

"Julian! Seriously!" Josh swung the door open and dived for Julian, who easily held him back telekinetically.

"Josh, what are you hiding?" Julian frowned now, glancing up at Josh suspiciously.

"Nothing! Just- Please, don't!" Josh begged, struggling against Julian's telekinesis. " _Don't_!"

"Oh, don't tell me, you've-"

"Julian!"

"I'm gonna kill you if-"

"Please!" Josh reached pointlessly for Julian as the telekinetic scrolled down to the _'K'_ section of Josh's address book.

"What the fuck are you hid-" Julian stopped mid-sentence, his breath catching. Raising his eyebrows, he turned to cell to face Josh. "Foley, why the hell is there a star by _my name_?!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, hey. It happened. I did the thing. This chapter explains many things. And is also kinda sexy. I blame Josh. Not my fault.

Josh followed Julian through the flat closely, calling after him and attempting to make excuses for himself. "Keller, wait! It's not-"

"It's not what I think?!" Julian snapped, turning back and throwing the phone, full force, at Josh, who caught it easily. "So, what? Someone _else_ put it there?!"

"No, but-"

"But _what_?!" Julian cut in, holding out his arms. "What possible reason could you have to think that I would ever sleep with you? I'm not gay!"

"Yeah... I know..." Josh's voice was small and he dropped his head to stare at the ground. "But... Y'know... We made out like all the time in school!"

"Okay, the first time, when I was fifteen... That totally doesn't count!" Julian argued, stepping back and rolling his eyes. "I distinctly remember being drunk and finding you in my room looking all sad and stuff because you were struggling with your sexual identity! We were best friends back then. I was just helping you out!"

"Oh yeah? And what about later? When we weren't friends? When I came back?" Josh frowned, getting a little defensive. "I definitely wasn't confused about my sexuality then."

"No, but we were high school age. That's all about getting drunk and making mistakes!" Julian sighed pointedly, and turned to continue to the kitchen.

" _Bullshit_!" Josh laughed in disbelief, keeping close behind Julian. "Sure, kids get drunk and play spin the bottle and truth or dare when they're that age, but no. Straight, sober teenage guys don't seek out their hot, male teammate and proposition him."

"I did _not_ proposition you!" Julian growled, insulted by the accusation. "So, fine. You pissed me off a few times in training and I decided the only way to get my anger out was to snap all of the bones in your legs or to kiss you. And the bone thing took more effort."

"So, you're saying, you kissed me to _punish_ me for not doing as you told me when we were training?" Josh quirked an eyebrow and leant against the kitchen table, watching Julian stalk over to the refrigerator. "Because that really doesn't work when the guy you're attempting to punish is a hormonal, bisexual teenager. Trust me; _it was more of a reward_."

"It was a control thing. I was showing you that I could make you do anything I wanted you to." Julian mumbled, retrieving a beer from the fridge and popping it open with his telekinesis.

"That's a little rape-y." Josh noted, kind of weirded out by Julian's attempt at an explanation.

"Ugh! Whatever!" Julian snapped and took a long drink of the beer, realizing that his argument had fallen flat. "So what, we kissed a few times? Kisses don't mean anything!"

"Firstly, _if you say so_." Josh began sarcastically. "And secondly, I recall at least three occasions when we did a lot more than just kiss."

"It's not like we had sex or anything!" Julian hissed, taking another gulp of beer.

"Sure, but we did everything else." Josh replied far too smugly. "Actually, I remember us doing _'everything else'_ a couple of times this summer, as well."

"Yeah, and then we visited the school and Quentin told me you were a sex addict and that meant that I was nothing to you!" Julian snapped suddenly, before realizing what he'd said. "Whatever. I need to go and... I have... Y'know, studying and stuff..."

"What are you talking about? You're my best friend..." Josh drew back, but made a point of stepping in front of the doorway. There was no way he was going to let Julian escape now.

"Shut up. It doesn't matter... Just... Leave it." Julian mumbled, tossing his now-empty bottle into the trash.

"No." Josh stated calmly. "What's up, Keller? Tell me the truth."

"The _truth_?" Julian released a huff of laughter, his irritation peaking again. "The truth is that you're a fucking mess! You act like none of our childhood happened! You go out, and you think you're so freaking irresistible! You think everyone wants you! Well, they don't! The truth is they all just know you're easy!"

Josh stared at him for a moment, calculating. He took a short breath.

"Is that what you think?" He asked calmly. "That I'm... _Easy_?"

"I know you have a problem." Julian sighed, feeling a little guilty for his outburst. "I'm not gonna-"

"Keller." Josh cut in firmly.

"Well, I- Maybe, I mean... Like, if I wanted- If I was in the mood for that stuff and... I mean... I'd know you would be a guaranteed fuck..." Julian murmured, looking to the ground. "So... Yeah."

Again, Josh stood silent for a moment, before turning and heading to his room. "I'm moving out."

"Josh..." Julian moaned, following him. "Stop overreacting..."

"No!" Josh snapped, stopping suddenly and turning back to Julian (who stumbled to a halt). "Because -past bullshitting my way through relapse after relapse - I thought you were always gonna be the one who picked me back up!"

"You haven't _'relapsed'_ , Josh. You actually have to attempt recovery to relapse." Julian sighed sadly, fed up of having the same conversations.

"Oh yeah? So, y'know where I've actually been when I told you I was at that study group every Wednesday?" Josh felt the irritation and anger force more black splodges to his skin, and so, took to yoga breathing to calm himself.

"I don't know. A bar?" Julian rolled his eyes, expecting the worst. Because, with Josh, _it usually was the worst._

"Group counselling." Josh confessed quietly. "Yeah... The whole _'hi, my name is Josh, and I'm a sex addict'_ thing. All of it. I've been going every week for the past five months."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Julian frowned a little through the question.

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is?" Josh hissed, combing his fingers through his hair. "Can you imagine what people would think if it got around college?"

"Wow, Josh, I-"

"I know I have a problem, okay? And I know I need to get over it. It's just not that simple." Josh admitted near-silently, turning back to his room. "I really thought you understood. I thought you were the only one who actually realized that I'm more than just a mess."

"I do understand, 'Lixir." Julian promised, taking Josh's wrist. "Don't go."

"Don't lie, Keller. I know what you think now. You think this is easy, don't you?" Josh kicked his bedroom door open and headed inside.

"No, I get that you're not-"

"Oh, bite me, fucker." Josh growled, pushing the door roughly.

"Foley!" A slight green haze took Julian's eyes now and he shoved the door back into Josh's room.

"What? You gonna say it all again? Patronize me some more? 'It's easy, _'Lixir! Just don't sleep with every person you encounter!'_ You don't think I feel shit enough for this?!" Josh ranted, pushing past Julian and out of his room. He didn't know where he was going. He just needed relief from this situation, from Julian. He needed _sex_.

"You know I understand how hard this is!" Julian argued, a slight plea in his tone. "I know how you're feeling."

"No, you don't. You really don't!" Josh hissed, flicking his head back and moaning. "You don't get it! There's this thing in my life that makes the world easier to cope with - a stress release, kinda. It's an entirely natural human activity, and is entirely free of cost. And then I'm told that enjoying that is making me sick. You can't even imagine that - having a perfect obsession with something that fixes all the issues, then having to give up on it immediately."

"What if I told you my obsession was you?" Julian mumbled, not understanding why he, himself, chose this moment.

"What?" Josh's anger and irritation was dispersing from his features now.

"I just wanted you to notice me." Julian sighed the confession and slumped back against the wall. "All that time... You were... I just..." He stopped. _No. This wasn't right. He wasn't this person. No way._ "It doesn't matter."

"What are you talking about?" Josh frowned, a pout pulling at his lips. "I did notice you. I _do_. You're my roommate and kinda my best friend. There's no way I couldn't-"

"Oh, for fucks sake, Josh! You're so blonde!" Julian snapped, telekinetically grabbing Josh's shirt and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Tensing initially, Josh soon relaxed into the contact, kissing back slowly.

Julian couldn't believe he was doing this. He was kissing his sex-addicted best friend. The one he'd been crazy about for years. Moaning a little, he deepened the kiss, noting that - although he hadn't thought it possible - Josh had somehow managed to get _even better_ at kissing.

It was only now he came back to reality and the sensation of Josh attempting to tug his shirt off.

Stepping back, he took a breath. " _No_..."

"What's wrong?" Josh moaned impatiently, stepping closer again.

"I can't do this..." Julian sighed, looking to the floor.

"Yes, you can." Josh smirked, tipping Julian's chin up to kiss him again.

"No..." Julian whispered into the kiss.

" _Kisses don't mean anything_ , Keller." Josh teased, quoting Julian's previous words against his lips.

"I lied when I said that. Kisses _do_ mean something. They also regularly lead to fooling around or, y'know, _sex_..." Julian still didn't like saying the word around Josh unless they were arguing about it. It felt like dangling a bottle of martini in front of an alcoholic.

"And that's a bad thing?" Josh laughed a little, stroking his fingertips through Julian's hair.

"It is when you're recovering from satyriasis..." Julian sighed, looking to the floor.

"But you want me. Your body is practically screaming out for me. You need this." Josh whispered, confusion set into his tone. "C'mon, J."

"No, I needed to kiss you. That's all." Julian released a shaky breath and pulled back. Now he understood how Josh managed to find so many girls and guys willing to sleep with him... _He really was irresistible!_

"Julian, wait!" Josh took Julian's arm and tugged him to his chest again. "So, no sex. I can... I think I can handle that... But... We can still talk... And kiss... And _touch_... And-"

"'Lixir..." Julian moaned, partly out of exasperation and partly because Josh's words had him really, damn turned on. "You know it's more than sex... You shouldn't be doing anything that the doctor would class as an explicit sexual activity."

"Making out isn't explicitly sexual." Josh replied quickly, before pushing Julian against the wall and kissing him roughly. Julian attempted to protest, but quickly gave up and submitted to the contact. Josh was right. Making out with him was totally fine. That wouldn't cause any problems. Kisses wouldn't do anything, _right_?

But that really wasn't the issue. Kissing was fine. But this wasn't just kissing. Somehow in the past twenty seconds, Julian had managed to jump up and wrap his legs tightly around Josh's waist, and now they were heading for the couch.

Julian tried a total of thirteen times to convince himself this was wrong, that he should stop. But it wasn't that easy. It never was with Josh. Josh that was so _hot_. Josh that was so _perfect_. Josh that was currently biting so delectably at Julian's neck and... _Oh... Wow... He was good at this..._

"How could you think I didn't notice you?" Josh panted between kisses, dropping Julian onto the couch and kneeling between his legs. "How could I _not_?! I've wanted you for so long..."

"Our whole relationship consisted of hating each other and occasionally whispering _'wanna fool around?'_ to each other..." Julian let out a loud moan when Josh pushed up Julian's shirt and began kissing slowly down his abs.

"I had the biggest crush on you when we were sixteen." Josh mumbled against Julian's skin.

"I've had the biggest crush on you for about five years." Julian moaned again at the sensation of Josh's kisses. "I win."

"Let me have you. Please!" Josh begged desperately, pulling Julian's shirt off. "I've wanted to sleep with you for so long..."

"Josh..." Julian breathed shakily, sitting up and pushing his gauntlets to Elixir's chest. Closing his eyes, he shook his head.

"Hellion... C'mon... You know we both need this..." Josh moaned, leaning forwards to kiss Julian's cheek. Slowly, he began to drop kisses across Julian's jaw and down his neck. "Please..."

"No... We can't." Julian stated more firmly now.

"It's okay... I can start recovery again tomorrow..." Josh whispered, pushing Julian back to lie on the couch again, and kissing down his chest. "Just tonight... Me and you... Please..."

"No!" Julian snapped, shoving Josh back with his TK. "No, I'm not going to sleep with you. Not now, not later, not tomorrow, not next week... Just... _No_! I'm not touching you until the doctor says you're recovered. I'm not fuelling your addiction, Elixir."

"Julian, don't be a dick." Josh sighed, rolling his eyes. "I fucked that girl this morning anyway, so what's the big deal? Sleeping with you now would set my recovery back by like... Six hours. That's nothing. And this is important to both of us..."

"No. Because if I sleep with you now, you'll think that you can just use me - like you did this summer. You'll assume that I'll always be here." Julian stood from the socouch and glared down at Josh with narrowed eyes. "And if you get home after a bad day, you'll assume you can just come into my room - kiss me, tell me you want me, _manipulate_ me - and I'll just give you what you need. I'm not like that, Foley. I'm not your toy."

"No, I wouldn't-"

"You would! You can't deny it! That's who you are now! I'm just another body to you. Just some fucked up biology! That's it, isn't it? That's the truth."

"Julian, that's not-"

"Whatever, Foley. I have shit to do." Julian sighed, heading to his room, refusing to even glance back at Josh. "Don't talk to me until you are sure you can look at me without tearing my clothes off. Calm down, shut up, and if you dare go out and fuck someone else… I’m kicking you out."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bad person.  
> This is a bad chapter.  
> Everything is bad.

"I can be patient, y'know..." Josh mumbled, scrolling carelessly through his phone as he lay back across the couch - legs crossed at the ankles, one hand behind his head, stretching out his toned arm perfectly.

"Huh?" Julian's eyes flicked up over his laptop screen to address Josh. He had been concentrating intently on typing up a painfully long essay on franchises - which was a real struggle with telekinetically controlled metallic fingers - but he preferred it that way to telekinesis alone; it was more mundane.

"That was kinda an open invitation, the other night..." Josh shrugged, turning his head to connect his eyes with Julian's, as the telekinetic sat up on his usual designated spot on the floor (leant back against the opposite wall, next to the TV).

" _No_." Julian replied simply, a slight warning tone to the word. The pair fell back into a remotely awkward silence again, filled only with the light tapping of Julian's keyboard.

"Whenever you want me, Keller..." Josh shifted onto his side on the sofa, watching Julian closely. "You know I'm totally fine with... Obliging you."

"Josh, don't." Julian warned, his eyes not leaving the laptop screen.

"Why not? What have you got to lose?" Josh argued calmly, narrowing his eyes a little in curiosity.

"Your recovery." Julian replied bluntly, and Josh could sense his body growing tenser.

"It's not the same." Josh sat up on the couch, leaning forwards over his knees. "You're not just some random kid I met in a bar. We, like, care about each other, or whatever."

"Sex is sex, Josh." Julian sighed in irritation, rolling his eyes. "No. Not happening. Forget it. Give up. Leave it. No way."

"Fine." Josh bit his lip and it was apparent from his tone that he took this as a challenge. Yawning casually, he tugged his shirt off and tossed it at Julian, landing it neatly on his laptop.

"Seriously?" Julian huffed, looking up at Josh with an unamused expression.

"What? It's hot in here?" Josh didn't even attempt to mask his lie.

Not satisfied when Julian didn't respond, Josh headed back to his room, his mind set on what he needed.

After a few moments of silence when Josh left, Julian retrieved the other boy's shirt from the floor beside him. It smelt like Elixir. Unique and specific... Like honey and citrus... And Julian attempted to deny the fact that that was one of the most arousing things he'd encountered today. _How was that fair? How could Josh's scent affect him so much?_

Hearing a soft, dull noise emanate from Josh's room, Julian frowned, tugged from his thoughts.

"'Lix?" He called, rolling his lips together and deepening his frown.

"Relax, kid. I was just getting changed." Josh laughed, re-entering the room with a blue yoga mat rolled up under his left arm. Julian swallowed hard because, _holy hell_ , Josh was seriously wearing nothing but some almost illegally tight yoga pants.

"Calm down, Keller. Don't be such a perv." Josh laughed, throwing Julian a flirty, arrogant smirk as he flicked the mat out across the floor.

Closing his mouth quickly (noting, thankfully, that he had not been drooling), Julian shook his head to clear his mind.

"Could you be any more obvious right now?" He growled, watching Josh stretch and contort his limbs in some sort of over-sexualized warmup activity that Julian totally didn't understand.

"Could you?" Josh retorted, facing away from Julian. Pulling each arm across his chest in turn, he flexed his back muscles, the gold skin rippling with every movement. Julian rolled his eyes at this.

"I'd tell you that you look good, but I'm sure you're already well aware of that." He commented with a sigh, before returning to his essay in an attempt to distract himself.

"The fact that your body is screaming _'wow, Josh is turning me on so much right now'_ is a useful indication of how good I look." Josh paused his movements for a moment to look back at Julian over his shoulder and raise his eyebrows.

"Well, then my body is lying." Julian suggested, returning his eyes to his laptop. Because, really, this was only going to work if he could keep his gaze away from Josh.

"Biology doesn't lie." Josh stated strongly, sitting carefully on the mat.

"Since when do you do yoga out here anyway? That's what your room's for." Julian argued, changing the subject.

"More space." Josh shrugged, sitting smoothly on the mat and leaning forwards. His body bent easily as he reached for his toes. "Plus, I need your help."

"Wait. What?" Julian glanced up at Josh in suspicion. "You've never needed my help before?"

Josh didn't respond. Mainly because he didn't have an answer. He didn't really think this through. He'd been doing yoga for three years now. An hour. Twice a day. Every day. For three years. He knew what he was doing. He didn't need help stretching himself out anymore - he hadn't at all after the first six months - he was stretched out enough to make it work. Still, he needed a reason. He needed-

"I pulled a muscle!" He replied suddenly, taking a few seconds before he realized he should expand on that. "I-in my thigh. So... I'm just working around it. Because I'm, like, a little tighter than usual."

"And I come into this, how, exactly?" Julian asked, furrowing his brow in suspicion. He wasn't buying it. No way. This was bullshit.

"I need you to stand behind me and keep me in position as I stretch." Josh explained quickly - that bit he had planned. That was what he needed.

"What? So your ass is pressing up against my crotch?" Julian sighed with a raised eyebrow, completely fed up with this. He stayed sat firmly on the floor. He wasn't playing Josh's game.

"No. Well, I guess. But that's not why you're there. You're gonna be there to help me out with my poor pulled muscle. _Obviously_." Josh was only now realizing how much of a terrible liar he was. Still, he tried anyway. "Please?"

Julian blinked once before looking up at Josh. He could see right through the idiot - anyone could. But he'd be lying if he said it wasn't kind of a compliment that Josh was going to this extent for him... And if he said those damn yoga pants weren't so deliciously, perfectly tight. _Oh god._

"Wait. Okay? Stop." He ordered firmly, forcing his mind to work. "We need to talk."

Josh laughed a little at this. "Oh, c'mon Julian! Don't be such a-"

"Josh. Seriously." Julian warned, looking up at Josh in disapproval. "I need to ask you something. It's important."

Josh sighed, rolling his eyes, and dropped down in front of Julian to sit heavily on the floor, stretching his legs outwards. "Fine. Make it quick."

"Listen, I understand this isn't- it isn't you... But I kinda need to know..." Julian sighed, blushing ever so slightly and looking away. "How many people were you with when we were together this summer?"

"We weren't together-"

"You know what I mean!" Julian snapped, cutting off Josh's words. He wasn't in the mood for technicalities. "I just wanna know, Josh."

"Well... I wasn't- You weren't like-" Josh gestured irately with his hands, searching for the words. How was he supposed to explain this without hurting Julian? "You weren't like my... Boyfriend, or whatever. So, it wasn't like I was cheating on you or anything."

"That's really not the point and you know it." Julian managed to keep his voice level and firm now, suppressing his feelings (something most Xavier kids were experts at). He still couldn't look at Josh, though. He didn't want to, even if he could. Because he already knew the answer to his question - _'too many'._ And that really fucking hurt! "How often did you go out with the sole intention of screwing someone?"

"Like, once every couple of weeks, I guess." Josh mumbled, twisting his fingers together in his lap. He looked like a scorned child, lying to lessen his punishment.

"Bullshit!" Julian hissed, because they didn't even live together then, and he still heard stories of how often Elixir was out on the town.

"What do you expect me to say, Julian?!" Josh snapped, throwing his hands into the air. "You want the truth? I was thinking about it all the time! I still am! Because it's the only thing that helps! Right now, I'm planning the quickest way to end this fucking conversation so I can get out of here and head back to some random kid's flat - away from everything, away from _you_!"

"I'm not gonna let you do that!" Julian took Josh's wrist telekinetically. "You're staying right here."

"I don't want to talk about this with you!" Josh tugged against the TK restraints fruitlessly.

"Too freaking bad! You're going to!" Julian snarled, his aura pluming from the corners of his eyes steadily. "I cared about you! You excited me! I wanted you!"

"I wanted you too! I still do!" Josh reached for Julian in some sort of gesture of comfort, but Julian simply held him back.

"Not enough!" He argued, still looking away. He didn't understand. Why did this hurt so much? "If you wanted me, you wouldn't want them too!"

"What do you want me to tell you? That you're my one and only? Because you're not. You never will be! You said it yourself, you're not my boyfriend! I don't commit! Me and you - we were just two friends helping each other out."

"It was more than that to me..." Julian mumbled the confession with a sigh.

"That's not my fault! I stuck to the rules. I keep my emotions out of this shit. You're the one who fucked up." Josh replied harshly, causing Julian to frown deeply. He always got so defensive and unfair when discussing his addiction. As much as Julian loved to bullshit that he understood, he didn't. He had no idea. He wanted to, of course. But satariasys really wasn't that simple.

"Why did you string me along like that? Why didn't you just tell me?" Julian closed his eyes, his lashes shaking the smallest amount against his cheeks.

"I don't see what the issue is." Josh huffed, rolling his eyes and turning away, heading back towards the sofa. "You liked being touched. And kissed. And pleasured. I can bet - if we had ever reached that point - you would've freaking loved being fucked, too! "

Julian stared at Josh in silence for a moment - something that had been common for them recently. It was apparent that they obviously didn't know each other as well as they had thought. He shook his head and moaned in exasperation.

"No!" He yelled, his telekinesis shattering the light bulbs overhead, dropping the room into an uncomfortable dullness. "That's not how this works!"

"How what works, Julian? Because right now you're being totally irrational about everything!" Josh shrugged, his nonchalant facade returning. "I liked playing with you. You liked being played with. There is no issues there. Honestly, I don't know why we ever stopped..."

" _'Being played with'_?!" Julian drew back, lost for words for a moment, before the anger and frustration returned. "You're missing the point! I wasn't there to be _'played with_ ', asshole! I thought we had an agreement! I thought we both wanted what we had because we - I dunno - like, felt... Things, about each other - I don't know!"

"Oh, Julian." Josh stepped closer, making the distance between their faces uncomfortably small. "I felt things for you. I _felt_ you were easy. I _felt_ you wanted me. I _felt_ that you would be a perfectly great way to get me off when I needed it."

Josh smirked at the damage he could see already in Julian's dazed eyes, before turning and heading for the door to his room. He needed to get changed. He had shit to do.

"I'm going out. I'm going to have sex. And you're not going to follow me." He stated when his hand touched the door handle. "Try not to be too heartbroken." He added, before entering his room and slamming the door.

Julian couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Couldn't feel. Everything was just... _Blank_. He had known, somewhere inside him that that had been how Josh had always seen him. But the other boy had made that clear now - and so bluntly. He released a shaky breath. What was he supposed to do? Argue more? _He wasn't even sure if he could..._

Josh slid down his bedroom floor to a heavy lump on the floor, his head in his hands. He didn't mean it. _God, he didn't._ Julian meant more to him than almost anything in his life. How could he ever mean those things? He just couldn't get the telekinetic to stop! He wouldn't stop! Josh needed to make it stop! So he did... And he ruined everything in the process. He hadn't needed sex this bad since it had all started after Kevin's death. He planned it all out quickly in his mind... The best local club to pick up drunk sluts was an eight minute cab journey away. He could pick someone up easily. He could be back here in less than three hours. Then he could start fixing this. But how was he supposed to do that? Tell the truth? _He wasn't even sure if he could..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a flashback and most likely include copious amounts of Quentin Quire.


End file.
